Dreamworld Of a Sh0paholic

2008-08-02T22:07:00.002+08:00

I HAVE MOVED!!!
PLEASE ASK ME PERSONALLY FOR THE NEW BLOG ADD. =D

2008-08-02T17:00:00.002+08:00

Walaupun tasik kekeringan
Tak mungkin terataikan tumbuh didarat
Begitulah takdirnya cintaku diibarat
Takkan berubah perasaanku terhadap dia

Kenapa dia yang ku cinta
Sedangkan ku tahu sikapnya begitu
Dia pandai berpura dan pandai
Bermain kata setahun bersama'
Bak seribu tahun tersiksa

Aku tidak sudi melihat dia lagi
Walau dalam mimpi pun tidak ku ingini
Aku rela menjadi teratai yang layu
Daripada mekar didalamnya tasik madu
Biarkanlah ku begini dan tak mungkin
Ku kembali bersamamu..

It's Been Awhile

2008-06-02T18:55:00.002+08:00

I just realized that it has been months since I last blog. Oh well.

I'll be back for more updates. As for now, am too sick to even recall anything.

Doing well. =D

2008-03-24T20:37:00.002+08:00

I fucking screwed up big time!
FUCKING BIG TIME!!

Dilemma 2

2008-03-08T12:12:00.002+08:00

Things have not turned out the way I want it to be. I want to move on. Away from him. Start anew with someone else, but I just won't let it happen. Everytime I try to fly, I fall. Without fail. Why is this happening? I'm waiting for an answer from yours truly.

I'm trapped in a situation where I know I'm going to hurt more than 1 person. I quote Akib's words, "Listen to your heart and you know what to do." What am I to do? It's really unfair for Jordan as he's away and I'm doing this during his absence. Letting him know the situation will only cause more problems and endless headaches for both of us. Gosh!

Last night was really madness. I am always thankful and contented that I have Fuad as a friend, a brother, a part-time boyfriend and sometimes, my bitch. He will know what to do to keep me rooted to the ground when I lose my cool. When things get really out of hand and the only option i have in my head is to kill someone. To kill him so that I won't suffer anymore. Anyway. I know it's no point shedding tears for someone with a shallow and narrow mind but I believe in LOVE. But! Love is not everything. There's no trust, communication, happiness that lasts. It's just love. Sometimes I wish that I can make him realize that it's not going to happen but how am I to do so if I keep turning back crying, sulking and getting myself emotional entangled?

This time round, I will not allow others to get affected with the problems that I'm having. I will decide soon. As soon as he's back, things will be different. I broke a promise to Jordan and I'm feeling really guilty. Today, no emails from him. Still waiting...

Rudy, I'm sorry for last night. That's not suppose to happen. Whatever conversation that we had, don't quote my words and I won't quote yours.

Longing

2008-02-21T21:09:00.002+08:00

I seriously long for someone...

&& He's leaving on Tuesday! For 6 fucking weeks. I cannot imagine how it's going to be like for me. Fuck! I will find something to occupy my time for more than a month. *pouts*

That aside. I was in the office today and my network went kaput. So while I was given the time to idle and roam around the office, I decided to log into Friendster. So me being me, I looked @ people's profile and I stopped at me ex's. So of course I had the emotional down turn. And it sucks ok! The feeling is like someone pulled my heart from my tummy or something. Urgh!

Oh well...

***********

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
you're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
is already in my life?
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Night Safari

2008-02-16T17:27:00.004+08:00

And so me and Nur brought the boys to the Night Safari.

Initially, I reckon it's going to be very boring but I was wrong lor! It's quite interesting actually. Me and Nur split up in between because she and Rob was going real slow. And without realizing I actually walked for 30 mins! So I guess I'm thinner by a few kilos now? Hrmm...

From Night Safari, we headed for Movida. There and then, the place really got me on my nerves. The place was really packed with irritating humans and I got really angry. We left after awhile and headed to Clarke Quay. And I went on the G-Max Bungy and the swing thingy. It was total madness! I'll upload the video once it's up.

Ok it took me more than 1 hour to blog 1 entry because I was on the phone 90% of the time. So I'll update again when I'm free.

I'm really upset that Jordan has to go home to England. He's homesick. Sigh. I'll meet him tonight to make him better. I hope.

Metal Toes

2008-02-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

I had the afternoon off from work today. I was still sick and my head was really spinning. The ex was being such a darling since yesterday and today. He was being so tolerant with my I-want-things-my-way attitude. I wanted to eat cup noodles last night so he came down to Yishun, brought me to 7-11 and fed me right outside. And today I wanted to eat beef steak(which costs him $9 and tastes like shit!) and macaroni in soup. We looked around and didn't see any stall which sells them. So he got me the soto soup, bought raw macaroni and boiled them for me. Made me eat and then, put me to sleep. I'm feeling so much better now realizing that I'm still loved. Hehe.

I rushed home from his place and got ready to go to the hospital to see Raul. He needed to go thru operation to take out the metal stuffs on his legs and now it's replaced with more metals thru his toes. And if you ask me, YES ITS GROSS! When I reached the hospital and see that he's all weak and suffering, it really breaks my heart. He looked like he's going to tear each time he felt the pain gushed thru him. It's such a pity. I'm going to his place again tomorrow to visit him coz I know I can't make it on Wednesday.

Raul's Metal Toes...

Seri calls the drain 'tequila shot' or something.

I can't talk too much for now. I gotta rest and get my ass to work tomorrow. Will update soon.

Raul, GET WELL SOON!

I miss the hyper you already.

45 things a girl want

2008-02-10T12:06:00.000+08:00

This is random...

45 Things a Girl Want(but will not ask!)

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends
together.

KEEP READING

11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more,
deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her
more than you, deny it. Fight back
and hug her tight so she can't
get to her friends, it makes her
feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?

16. Always hug her and say I love you
whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the
waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about
her.

One last thing you need to do to show
her you actually do mean it.

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her
car- it makes her feel protected,
plus it never hurts to act like a
gentleman.
2 2. Tell her she's your everything -
only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something
wrong, ask her- if she denies
something being wrong, it means
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT-
so just hug her
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls
you know !!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE
AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US

26. Don't lie to HER.
27. DON'T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants
29. Text messege or call her in the
morning and tell her have a good
day at work {or school}, and how
much you MISS her.
30. Be there for her when ever she
needs you, & even when she doesn't
need you, just be there so she'll
know that she can ALWAYS count on
you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER
BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT !!

31. Hold her close when she's cold so
she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close
and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK (it will
give her the hint that you want to
kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm
around her and then she will
automatically put her head on
your shoulder, then lean in and
tilt her chin up and kiss her
LIGHTLY.
3 5. Dont EVER tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE
WITH HER NEXT

36. When people DISS her, stand up for
her.
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell
her you love her.
38. Lay down under the STARS and put
her head on your chest so she can
listen to the steady beat of your
heart. Link your fingers together
while you whisper to her as she
rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other
grab her HAND.
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your
arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call or text her at night to wish
her SWEET DREAMS.
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe
away her tears.
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you love
her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how
much u love her and then bend
down to her face and kiss her
while sitting on her.

My 21st Birthday

2008-02-08T13:21:00.000+08:00

It's my 21st Birthday today and the bash over at Cafe Del Mar was a blast!

It was full of surprises from the people I least expect it from.

Raul - Tiffany & Co Charm Bracelet!
Surprise birthday cake from my brothers, Juff and Fuad.

I'm elated!

The guy who spent a quite a fortune on my birthday.

The sweetness that both my brothers, Is and Rezza had yesterday will be remembered till the end of time. (Coz they're normally a pain!)
Thank you Adik & Abang.

Do you notice the bracelet on my hand? And the baby blue paper bag on my lap?
A must on every girl's wish list? Well now I can strike it off mine. Thanks Raul. A lot.

Everything is so bliss.

Lollipop Girl

2008-02-01T22:59:00.000+08:00

Cute...

2008-01-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

CIBAI!!

Had a bad day! Fucking bad day!

2008-01-27T14:03:00.000+08:00

I had a great time with them. Sadly, Mich had to leave early.

And the person I missed most turned up at MOS.

I Miss You.

2008-01-26T03:25:00.000+08:00

***

I never know how much I loved him til I read up my past posts... The ones when I just can't stop telling the world how much in love I am with him. When I bumped into him, I never expected it to bring me to my lowest point. I wish I could run up to him and give him a big hug and kissed him. But it seems that those actions are not welcomed. I miss him dearly. I miss him so much.

I MISS YOU!

Everything seems to be falling back in place. Juff apologised. I get to speak to Eme for a little longer than half an hour. Raul made me happy at least. But I was just too tired to be all hyper and happy. Blame it on PMS.

The mood I'm in right now is really really mellow.

It's going to be a long day tomorrow...

Waxing

Shopping

Salina's son cukur rambot

MOS!!

and... Happy 24th Birthday Fuad!!

Heroes Season 2

2008-01-24T22:18:00.000+08:00

Today's the last day of my medical leave. 4 freaking days in a month. Damn that's long. Just as
I wanted to take a good rest and sleep all day long, Heroes does not permit me to. I've been watching from the first episode right to the last one of Season 2. Now I can't wait for Season 3.

I'm sitting right before my laptop for 10 long freaking hours. It's giving me very bad back aches though.

I had a tiff with Juff. I can't believe Juff just won't let his guts down. It really upsets me to see him fighting for himself and will not admit defeat even though it's his fault. I'm disappointed in him that's why I was all sensitive and moody. He just don't get it. Instead he called me an IDIOT! And that really made me cry. No friend has ever brought me down like how he did. I'm just so disappointed. So so very disappointed and upset.

I'm in the sensitive mode now. PMS. And I know I have the tendency to be petty about everything. Raul, sorry for the crankiness.

Can't wait for Saturday...

Throat SUCKS!

2008-01-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

Date check : 23rd Jan 2008

Time Check : 2306 hrs

...&& I'm still not recovering yet!! I can't bloody believe that my immune system is so against me. Went to the docs again today and he said that my throat infection has went down to the voice box. I can't talk too much. Or the walls will be rubbing against each other and it could get worst, as it's swollen. OMFG! It's damn irritating lorr...

I have been at Eme's place for the past few days. Last night I slept over as I was too weak to go home. She took care of me. My food. Medication. Sent me to the clinc for the 2nd time. Blabbering away about the stubborn-ness in me.Pfffft. Emelda has grown so much since the last I've seen her. And now that I'm home, I'm already missing the girls. A lot...

& I wish I can just cut open my throat and clean it up or something. ARGHHH!!!!

I love you Emelda. So much...

Irresponsible Me.

2008-01-20T19:16:00.000+08:00

I lost my voice! I guess it must have gone with the fever. Now I sound like some lady boy on the lose. Grrrr! It really sucks so much.

Went to MOS. Had a great, great time there. Was with Michelle, Raul, Fuad, Akib, Alfie, Din and some nigger guy(who is scary but I still love his cap =))). It was total madness in the club but then after, shit happens that made my mood went down down down!

Sadly, I didn't hear the songs that I wanted to hear badly... So badly. While I'm blogging now, I'm actually listening to Because of You. Which!! Makes me so mellow. Hrmm..

Teban friends ask me out to Karaoke, with me being in this kinda situation. Haha! I'll be only wasting my $$$. So I'd rather be a good girl and stay home.

Oh and I phoned Eme after being 'MIA' for awhile since the demise of her grandma. I feel like an irresponsible, heartless, thoughtless best friend. When she spoke to me, I cried. Guilty conscious. Damn me. I'm gonna make time to meet her tomorrow after work. I hope I can make it. She's more important than anything for now. Sigh. I hope I can drop work at 1730 on the dot and leave to her place.

Well oh well..

Met up with Sha and Mai at town for awhile.They went to Hard Rock while me and Mich went to MOS.

Flu flu flu!

2008-01-18T12:25:00.000+08:00

I still have not recovered from the flu and sore throat and fever since yesterday. The pain is excrutiating. I can't take it anymore.

My condolences to the best friend's grandma who passed away yesterday noon. I'm sorry I can't be there honey, the flu is really killing me.

Til I update again...

And to you.. FUCK OFF!!!

I want a guy...

2008-01-17T21:02:00.000+08:00

*tsk*

REALITY CHECK!!!

2008-01-13T16:39:00.000+08:00

Pursuit of Happyness

2008-01-12T12:53:00.000+08:00

What can be more better than staying at home, DVD-marathoning, feeding face with KFC, with a slight hang-over.? Hrmm.

I finally get to watch Pursuit of Happyness and happy I am.

=D

2008-01-10T20:14:00.000+08:00

I just ate 6 whole crabs!!

I love crabs.

If you give me a whole plate of crabs and a hot guy, I'll eat the crab first.. Then to the hottie.

Hrmm... =)

2008-01-09T19:33:00.000+08:00

I'm home early today.!! I'm supposed to be on a dinner date tonight but I guess I'm too worn out for another late night. Work has been crazily crazy for me. Sometimes I can get emotionally driven because of my colleagues and suppliers and hard-to-understand Ang-Mohs.

Mummy phoned me today. Questioned me about my long absence and silence from her. Well I'm busy mother dear. Juggling work and play. *grins*

So I'm home on a Wednesday night. Sitting in front of my lappie. MSN-ing. Blog hopping. Having leg-cramps half the time. Pffft. Absolute silence(besides my emo songs playing on the laptop) in the house today. No brothers. No soccer on TV. No irritating uncle. Just ultra-cranky grandma is home. And she's minding her own business watching her Indon shows.

Well I better think of something interesting to do. Oh! And I've not buy Cleo for the month. Anyone willing to share?

I'm so gonna go back to LiquidKitchen. Love love love...

Finally phoned.

2008-01-09T00:24:00.000+08:00

And.... He finally called. After so many days of going missing, he finally decided to phone me and pretend that nothing happened. Damn!!

I just got home from LiquidKitchen for drinks with Mai, Jup and Sha. We were celebrating Mai's birthday there. I'm dead tired to go into details. Nice place. Fun time. Loved it. Now I'm tired.

I need to sleep!!!

2008-01-07T20:13:00.000+08:00

While I was blog-hopping, I came across this... It's so true.

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.

Let's change the marriage to... erkk.. Courtship? Ahahahah!

********

I'm watching Lakehouse now and get all emotional and feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.Cynical me.

Ok sorry. Just the down-side of me. Juff...! Get out of station fast! Sha, I'm so sorry I can't tag along. I'm dead t.i.r.e.d.

And hungry now..(my English colleague commented that everytime he sees me, I'm feeding my face with food. tsk!)

2008-01-07T19:23:00.000+08:00

What a rough day!

I woke up this morning hoping he'll text me or something. No. Wake up call? No. Washed up and get ready for work. I almost broke down thinking of what's happening. This is a silent goodbye from him.. I reckon so...

I can't even do my work without thinking about what's in his mind. What's he up to?

Tomorrow, I hope to start a new day. I'll try not to think of it. Hope that better things are coming my way. Not a good start for 2008 it seems. I'll cross my fingers and hope it won't prolong. I ought to be strong. I ought to be firm to myself.

Liyana! Try to be optimistic. Try harder!!

Love definitely hurts...

*******************

Kian jauh
Kian hilang
Kasih antara kita

Nampak tenang
Pada zahirnya
Tapi batin terseksa

Yang terguris tak nampak dimata
Yang terhiris terluka
Sesekali terbit air mata
Tahan sebak didada

Ke manakah..nak dibawa
Resah kian melanda

Di manakah
Hendak ku khabar
Pilu di dalam dada

Bila kasih di hujungnya nyawa
Rasa ingin dimanja
Perasaan pun kian tersentuh
Bila rindu ini berlabuh

Apakah yang dikejar dalam hidupmu
Berkali ku kata padamu
Kita singgah di dunia yang sementara
Penuh tipu daya

Yang kekal
Disana
Biarlah..kita bersama

Usahlah
Hanyut terus terlena
Kerana dunia

Pada aku masih ada
Kasih belum terhakis
Sebenarnya..sudah lama
Ku sungguh berkecil hati

2008-01-06T19:58:00.000+08:00

This is my third entry for today. So you know how damn bloody bored I am at home. Slogging all day. Erk!

I so need to shop! I want to revamp my wardrobe. I need to.!

My brothers are complaining about me wearing the same thing all the time.

Shopping anyone??

2008-01-06T17:27:00.000+08:00

Molly's Night

2008-01-06T14:48:00.000+08:00

I believe if you think about something too much, you'll even bring it to sleep and start dreaming about it. I really want to forget about him but... Sigh!

I hate the feeling of waking up with an aching heart. The feeling of you not being able to breathe. When you just wish that he's dead. That he no longer exists in your life. It sucks. How could he do this to me? How could he try to coax me and then abruptly turn his back against me. URGH!!

Last night was m.a.d.n.e.s.s! Initially my plan was to meet up with JupJup and hang out till late @ Sentosa. But then Sha phoned me up and asked me out to Molly Malone's(which is Mint's workplace) for drinks with Maiyee. I agreed without JupJup's acknowledgement initially. Then off to meet him and I'm 45 mins late. Of course he will grumble and whine and I just feel like slapping his face. We planned our destination and off we go! Mind you people, my JupJup is driving ok. *giggle*. I can't stop teasing and disturbing him. It was hilarious and unbelievable... at first.

We had early dinner at Arab Street. I had this funny tasting Honey Chicken Briyani which JupJup ends up finishing it for me. The chicken just tastes weird I guess? Head to TCC @ Funan for coffee and I end up eating again. I'm such a big eater now. Perhaps my appetite grow when I'm depressed. And he of course starts calling me pig, fat and all the things which associates to my glutton-ness. Waited for Sha and Mai and we left for Boat Quay.

At Molly's, we drank, we smoked, we laughed, we cam-whored, we're up to our most looney+crazy+stupid(and slow for JupJup) selves. After all the hustles and bustles in Molly's, I began to get hungry. So does Sha. We had supper(which was a heavy one for me!) and our alcohol intake just wore off. Tsk!

Awaited for Mint to knock off and we had more drinks at the River at 0200hrs(which had me all emotional over 'him'). Madness isn't it? I enjoyed every minute of their company and I do hope we can do this more often. Next stop: PARTY?!!!...

JupJup, Sha, Mai and dear Mint are LOVE!

At least they get me to put 'him' at the back of my mind for that 12 hours out. OMG! 12 effing hours lor!! Nyehhehehehe!

Will upload pictures when JupJup sends them to me.. As promised!

2008-01-05T01:40:00.000+08:00

You broke my heart again and again.
Is this how you act to win back my heart?

You've changed drastically. I don't know you anymore.
I don't want to...

I hate you... Well at least I hope I do.

It's just so fucked up!

2008

2008-01-01T16:18:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year EVERYONE!!!

My new year resolutions for 2008:-

*To get my driving license

*Travel as much as I can

*There's too much in mind

*BALI BALI BALI!!!!

Alvin & the Chipmunks

2007-12-30T15:23:00.000+08:00

Since I came back from holidays on Wednesday, I have not gotten myself any rest at all. The moment I reach home, I took a shower and went out to meet Rudy and Yulis. We had so much to talk about and the reason why I chose not to rest is because I missed Rudy so damn much. *blush* Reached home at about 0100hrs and I had to wake up early the next day to go to work. I was dragging myself to work and I looked so bad. No make-up. Hair undone. I am just so disgusting. Bluergh!

I met up with them again on Thursday and another late night it is. What was I thinking? I finally got my rest in Saturday and damn was it refreshing!

Yesterday went out with Eme to catch Alvin & the Chipmunks. Initially her stepdaughter wants to tag alone but we wanted time on our own. Without kids. Each and everytime we go out, there'll either be Emelda or Durrah. So we wll be busy taking care of the kids instead of enjoying ourselves. Alvin and the Chipmunks was damn good! Loved it so much. I feel like watching it again and again. So if anyone wants to watch it, I can accompany. I don't mind watching it again. *grins*. After the movie, we had some drinks at Cosmo and we start talking about our lives as a teenager. Whenever out friends meet up with the both of us, we were never sober. Haha! I missed those times so much.

Met Rudy, Yulis and her fiance after that. Catched a movie again. This time is I Am Legend. Not bad afterall. Though the movie was a little slow and sad, I enjoyed every minute of it. We had supper at TCC and headed for pool after. Damn it was random. We didn't even plan for all these. Hrmm.

Am waiting for Juff to come back from JB and pick me up for some catching up. I missed him so. Even if he calls me a Lil Prick, I still love him. Hehe.

I feel like going back to sleep now. *yawns*

Phuket Madness

2007-12-28T20:05:00.000+08:00

My trip was a blast! Loved it so damn much.

I enjoyed every single moment of it.

=D

2007-12-22T09:57:00.000+08:00

I am going for holidays people!

Byeeee...!

Will be back on Thursday.

Phuket

2007-12-20T23:20:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving for Phuket this Saturday and I haven't finished packing my stuffs! I wonder what stuffs I'm going to forget to bring along. BUT I'm so excited. Hrmm..

Things between me and Rudy is getting better. No we've not patched up or anything. Just trying to regain the old times. If we are fated to be, den it shall be. Otherwise, no point forcing into it. Agree?

So Phuket! Here I come...

Long-awaited pics?

2007-12-14T14:15:00.001+08:00

Here are the long awaited pics.

*Emelda Fentini*

Reunion with the gig go-ers. More pics still yet to receive from Lin Kecik.

Home

2007-12-12T16:39:00.000+08:00

He's going home tomorrow evening and I can't imagine how things would be like when he's back with his family. Serve me right. Sigh. Sure to miss him though.

The ex had been really nasty and I can't take his words anymore. I'm hurt by your crude words Rudy!

I'm going to extract my wisdom tomorrow and damn am I nervous+afraid+feel like cancelling the appointment. Gosh!

Met up with the old girls from the gig-era and I am super shocked to see how much they've changed. Like tremendously. I will update the pics when I have the time. And I mean when I come home early and my bro is not on the lappie and I can find quiet time to upload all the pictures. For now, late nights. Non-stop phone calls. Cranky+grumpy brother @ home.

Life is a piece of shit sometimes... Just sometimes..

Emelda Fentini

2007-12-09T18:09:00.000+08:00

Emelya has given birth to a beautiful baby girl named Emelda Fentini on the 30th Nov 2007. So now you know how it makes me feel like? OLD.
Her stepdaughter is happily calling me "Aunty" and I am so against it. Eme will not. Will never allow her to call me by my name or "Kakak" or something. Sigh. So aunty it is.

Aside to that. Work is MADNESS. And I really mean madness. The engineers in Loyang have been giving me super long lists of item to purchase and they want it within a week or a day. Sometimes I wish I can beat the hell out of them but too bad. It's my job. I'm a buyer. Hopefully next week will be better as I need to exract my wisdom tooth before I go for my trip to Phuket. I don't wanna be having toothache while I'm there.

Being single again, I do want to make the best out of everything. I don't wanna make myself feel trapped in a cage or wat-so-ever. I'm sick of that.

Now, I've gotten myself into a really complicated situation. Like what I told Eme, I know I'm going to get burnt but I still want to play with fire. So one day if i get myself hurt, serve me right. Hah!

I'm yearning for a shopping spree. I've been to town so many times and there's nothing nice for me to buy. NOTHING. ZERO. Well maybe I need to shop for my trip soon. I need a digital camera, a new bikini, a new iPod and some new clothes. Dresses maybe?

Bollocks!

I'll update pictures of Fentini when I have the time.

Bits & Beowulf

2007-11-18T20:10:00.000+08:00

Ok. Aside to that. I went to watch Beowulf yesterday with the cousins and the aunt. The animation is really realistic. Our initial plan is to watch Bratz. But because Aunt doesn't wanna watch that, we end up watching that NC16 show which Bitha is not supposed to be in. She's 14 actually but she doesn't look like one. Lucky you dear.

&& this if for Bitha dear. Remember when I sent you to hospital or check-up years ago? Let me walk you down memory lane.

Holiday Villa 2005

Shuttle Bus to KK.

No matter how ugly you were back den, I still love my Bitsy to bits. I know you're gonna kill me for these but deep in your heart, the love for me won't perish right?

Pain

2007-11-18T19:32:00.000+08:00

When things don't turn out the way you want it to be, there's many un-comprehended feelings running thru you. Regret, agony, sorrow, hatred. Everything that you last expect is taking its toll now.

I'm still clinging onto hope and praying for a miracle to happen sometime soon. Endless fights that I can't bear to face anymore. I'm afraid for another day to come. Afraid things might get worst. Things might end soon. I don't wish to live in denial but when there's love, you'll be blinded. Trust me.

Is it me? Or is it him? It's damn effing hard to work things out. We live day by day feeling intimidated by each other. He earned no respect from me. I just find it hard to compromise. I don't know what more to do. Is it my ego? My stubborn-ness? Am I a big time bitch? Or am I cursed? To never find a perfect match for me?

My patience is coming to an end. And when I call it off, I won't turn back.

As for now, I still love you.

But... It's really difficult for me. It really is..

I need your understanding and I need you to understand my needs. Understand me as I am. So that the past will not repeat itself.

I'm confused. I'm in pain. I need Eme for now...

Reminission

2007-11-09T11:54:00.001+08:00

I was downloading songs while talking to Dy over the phone when we suddenly remembered this song. I heard this when we first met @ ChinaBlack 2 years ago. After the introduction, no more words were spoken to each other. It was really cute at that time. He wanted to get to know me but I gave him that stuck up look. And so he kinda backed off.

It was our 2nd meet up, which is @ ChinaBlack also, that we spoke. I was having sore-eyes and not feeling that well. Later that evening, I end up sleeping with him on the couch. And I mean sleeping while this song is being played. Gosh I missed ChinaBlack. I missed those times.

I'm glad Ive found you Dy. I love you..!

R.V.F

2007-11-05T13:17:00.000+08:00

Our new baby is out.

=)

Whoopeeee...!

Dy's delighted. So am I. But I think the seat is too high. And my tooshie is suffering now. Pffft!

My mind is at point blank now. I don't know what more to blog.

And as for my dear self, suffering from cough, flu, sore-throat, slight fever, migrain and gastric flu! Good combo huh?

Hoping I'll recover soon. Urgh!

I love you Dy.!!

Dy's Achievement

2007-10-26T09:02:00.000+08:00

Dy passed his 2A already! Kudos dear...

I'm far beyond proud and happy for him as it's his first trial and he passed.

And he just got himself a new ride. Our new tanggungan(is it spelt this way?) shall i say it?A gift from me for his achievement.

Just sharing my joy with the rest of you.

*feeling all giggly and smiley today!*

For You I Will

2007-10-15T16:14:00.001+08:00

When you're feeling lost in the night
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better

I'll be there to protect you
See you through
I'll be there and there ain't nothing
I won't do

I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I promise you
For you I will

I will shield your heart from the rain
I will let no harm come your way
Oh, these arms will be your shelter
No, these arms won't let you down
If there is a mountain to move
I will move that mountain for you
I'm here for you, I'm here forever

I will be your fortress
Tall and strong
I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you
Right or wrong

For you I will
Lay my life on the line
For you I will fight
For you I will die
With ev'ry breath, with all my soul
I'll give my word, I'll give it all
Put your faith in me
And I'll do anything

I will, I will, I will

I promise you
For you I will
I promise you
For you I will...

Dy, after all that has happened. I wish to apologise for all the bad deeds that I've done. I love you with all my heart. I promise.

Skinny

2007-10-11T16:26:00.000+08:00

Though I don't fast, I'm losing weight again! Yay! I'm skinny again. No more extra chunk of fats hanging here and there. No more fat legs.

Wanna know how I found out? No I don't weigh myself. Yesterday I bought a pair of black skinny jeans and I fit into a size 26! And! It's not tight. A wee bit lose at the hips area. Damn I'm happy that I lost weight. Skinny = Sexy? No? Well I hope I'm not scrawny. And I hope Dy's fine with me losing a wee bit of weight.

Wanna know the secret to losing weight? Skip dinner. Yes SKIP DINNER. It works for me. All the best to the people out there.

I love ME!

Hari Raya around the corner.

2007-10-09T18:48:00.000+08:00

3 more days to Raya peeps! I'm not really prepared. I don't really bother actually. Just looking forward to the family gathering @ Grandpa's. Cousins especially. They are LOVE!

I'm not looking forward to this year's Raya. I have my reasons and don't ask why. For those who understands, I yearn for her. But I'm afraid things will turn ugly.

Work has been CRAYZEE!! And it's really driving me bonkers. Like totally~ Websters or Longman haven't found the word to describe these thoughtless+ignorant people. I'm not some kinda machine-operated human who can do 600(yes six hundred!) purchase @ 1 effing time. Can you imagine the shock in me when I receive the requisition for 662 items?!! I almost puked blood. Almost fainted. Died of heart-attack. GRRRR!!!

Damn you Loyang people! No matter how urgent it is. Even if the vessel is going offshore like tmr, you have to wait. I don't entertain idiots like you. N.O.

I miss partying. I miss late nights. I miss girls-night-out-ings.

And Kakak, I know I'm nothing but a disappointment to you. I apologise. I'm sorry. I haven't been there. At all. And Kak Tweeny has been asking me when I'll see you. I know I'm tactless and thoughtless too. But I'm sorry.

I'm on leave tomorrow. Yay!

Shit Happens

2007-10-04T12:16:00.000+08:00

I was involved in an accident. My leg hurts tremendously. A bit of skin was scraped off. I was shaking when it happened. It was so sudden. And it's all because of one bloody stupid bastard, who thinks his father owns the road. Dear's injury was far more worst den mine. You can actually see his white flesh and it's super gross.

On another note, the fall was actually quite hilarious. I fell to my right, was bring dragged abit. But as for him, he rolled like some ball-ish thingy to a far distant. Poor him. Well shit happens. And I'd pray that nothing like that(or worst!) will reoccur.

Nowadays I feel weak super easily. I gotta go to the docs to see what's up with my vital & immune system. Bluergh! A colleague of mine introduced Dome or Yomeishu or something like that. But due to the heaty(33 deg mind you!) weather, I guess it's not wise for me to consume that.

How's preparations for all of you? As for mine, have yet to collect the bajus. Already changed $$$. No intentions of buying new stilettos or clutch. I'll make do with what I used @ Aunt's wedding since I wore it once only. Savings ya?

Preparations for Hari Raya

2007-09-30T18:19:00.000+08:00

Preparations for Hari Raya is driving me insane. I gotta do spring cleaning to cake baking, and time is too short for everything. Plus! The fact that my relationship is on the rocks, it worries me so effing much. I'm at Dad's now. Baking cookies for the family @ Yishun and for Dear, while assisting Ibu and my aunt. I don't fancy baking actually. But for Dear's sake, I do so. He oughta be grateful. Hmmph!

I'm crossing my fingers and I'm praying hard that things will be fine for me and Dear. I just won't want to let my guts down. I'm just too stubborn. And because of that, chances of him leaving me is very high.

Sigh. I gotta prepare for buka. Dear is coming over soon.

Filthy Animal....

2007-09-24T20:17:00.000+08:00

I guess all of you are aware of the Nurin's saga. Have you ever wondered or even came close to think that that will ever happen to someone close to you/your loved ones? I just don't get it and i just can't bring myself to understand what is this bastard motive, hurting an innocent child. When i read the article about her death, it just brought tears to my eyes. How can any human be such a sadist+heartless+psychotic+animal to hurt a little girl even if the parent did something utterly bad, i guess they should vent it out on the adults themselves. Well, i just hope and pray that this pervert will be caught and be castrated and! the brinjal and cucumber should shoved up his ass.

I just hate inhumanity of these fools.

May Nurin rest in peace.

This entry is blogged by Rudy(the bf).

She will update once she has the time.

...Rudy...

Hates bloody kpo makcik!

2007-09-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

To anticipate how life will be in the near future is pure headache for me.
The plans to settle down. How's it gonna be like? I can't keep telling myself that it's too soon for I know the 'too soon' will come to an end.
The monetary aspects. Commitments. It's just too 'big' for me.

Spoke to the BF abt some serious commitments. He's ready for everything but I don't think I am. It's not as easy as it seems. It's easier said than done. But as for me, I have a stable job. It's only the discipline that I lack of. My shopping habit dies hard. I'm a known shopaholic within my circle of friends and family. Clothes after clothes. Shoes after shoes. Gadgets after gadgets. I gotta admit that it does sucks when you see the bank balance descending day by day. But! The
great orgasmic feeling everytime I get something new is just hard to resist. To put to a stop. No way! Well let's shove this topic aside.

I was on MC today. I had some kind of an allergy reaction over something I ate/came into contact with or something, I'm not sure. There are many red spots popping out of my body which isreally disgusting. && it itch so badly ok! Especially on my arms and tummy. It definitely can't be chicken pox as there're no bubblish stuff on the spots. Went to the doc and they prescribe me some medication. The doctor initiated an injection but I didn't want to. Needles! Yikes!

Have you ever encountered a bloody kpo f%*^ makcik who "mulot takder insurance"? Well I was at Causeway hunting for a shawl to match my outfit for tomorrow. Went around. Searched. Got the shawl. Went to the bazaar to grab some quick bites and sat down for awhile with the BF just before we headed home, I went to the toilet. Out of nowhere she walked pass me and said "Bdk2 zaman sekarang bodoh betol. Takder maruah diri. Pakai terdedah-dedah." I was like WHAT THE FUCK?! I never ask her to buy me clothes for me per! What's her effing problem siak? Anak dier tu jaga betol2. Mulot cilikan baru tau. Narrow+square+stupid minded asswipe. Hate these bloody ppl. Korek biji mata den she know.! Fuck! And what irritated me most is that the BF just kept silent while i was ranting and cursing and swearing away. Tsk!

I gotta sleep early tonight. Having dinner with BF and his best buddy + the minah gf.

Good night!

These itching spots are really killing me!!

Updates!!!

2007-09-16T20:44:00.000+08:00

Updates!!

Well I'm sure my ex-colleagues are dying to hear abt my new environment righttt? Well my work is pretty fine after all. I do have some weird colleagues though. Like one. K. K is a guy who has been working there for like?? 7 years or sumthing. (I actually heard this from my boss himself!) Well he will not listen to the boss. And wish to do his own things. Lazy is one word to describe him. Weird another. Sigh. Oh and I have another colleagues who is a lady. M. M broadcasts news faster than CNN. E-mail. Or any source dissemination. Like REALLY! She's super K-po! Scaryy.. And I have my senior, who I am assisting currently. My first impression of her is. SNOB! Than I found out that she doesn't really talk when the rest of the department ppl is around. As for now, I can only get along with her and my boss. Hrmm.. Oh and there's no punching in and out system. Phew! Office politics sucks!

The distance from work - home and vice-versa, have caused me to be super moody+cranky+tired and vent it all out to the BF. My ultimate guinea pig from the stress I'm going thru. Woops. I mean, what else can cause my emotions to go Up and Down and UP and DOWN again? Of course him him HIM! So I cross my fingers and hope that he will be patient enough to endure my nonsensical, ridiculous, illogical, crappy mood swings. Sorry Dearie. I didn't mean to have hurt you all along.! *smoochies*

&& I fast for the first time today. Whoa! It's seriously not easy. I was shopping @ Causeway Point and I passed so many obstacles. Obstacles being food glorious food! From doughnuts to burgers to otahs to much much more! I was kinda drooling thinking of all those foods. Being the glut I am, I so can't resist them. But I have to. And I made it through! Yay! && I'm not gonna fast tomorrow. I took off my tongue stud for the day and when I wanted to put it back on, it was all bloody and painful. BF being the irritant he is was like "No la. Sure can put it back on." PFFFFT! Like hello! I so gotta suffer. Unlike his. Which he has it on for EONS of years. Slap him uh!

Did I mentioned that I manage to persuade(more like force) him to cut his hair? *giggle*

I love him!

Ok bye!

New Environment

2007-09-11T12:55:00.000+08:00

Work has been fine. Will update this space soon. I miss me fellow ex colleagues!

Tsk!

End of Incumbency

2007-09-07T10:09:00.000+08:00

07.09.2007.
I served my duty in this company for a little more than 2 years. And today marks the end of my service here. With utmost sorrow, I'm dragging myself to reality, that I will no longer be here next week on. No more breakfast in the canteen. No more never-ending complaints abt everything. No more of my looney Adeline. She's basically the joker of our department. Sure to miss her loads loads! My supervisor. Who's funny yet fierce. A lady of no nonsense(most of the time). She doesn't draw the line between superior and subordinates. To her, we are all equal. . And my little friend. Quiet, demure, yet full of nonsense at times. Her sarcasm kills sometimes. Gosh I'm so gonna miss my department. Looking at my empty desk.. It just feels so urgh!!

And most importantly, my Boss. One of the most well-respect lady in this firm. The person who fought for me for this position. A friend. Someone whom I can open up to about almost everything. If you can find another boss who's like her, you're damn lucky.

Well oh well, I've yet to go around to meet up with the rest of the colleagues. I hope I won't breakdown. Time check : 1028hrs, and I have nothing to do! Boredom kills you know?

Will be having farewell lunch later @ ~~Ichiban.~~ Sakae Sushi

Can I freeze time for awhile? Just a little while. A day maybe?

ARGH!!!!

2007-09-05T14:35:00.000+08:00

2 days left. I'm so super super nervous. I still haven't pack. I haven't bring my stuffsss back home.

BF sent my laptop for repair @ HP Alexandra. && it can be collected on Friday.! *grins*

Will be away this weekend with BF. Spend precious precious time with him before fasting month.

This entry is a bit mundane but who cares?!

Sorry...

2007-09-04T17:09:00.000+08:00

I didn't mean to make him cry. It's really heart-wrenching to hear someone you love, cry.

I'm sorry. I just don't want to disappoint you time and time again.

I promise I won't do it again. It won't happen again.

My tongue still hurt. Badly.

&& something is seriously wrong with blogger. I can't seem to separate the paragraphs.

They would lump up together once I publish post.

FISH!

Less than a week left

2007-09-03T16:55:00.000+08:00

5 days more and I'm off from here.

Had to defer my exam because its clashes with the first day of work at the new firm.

I'm so super far-beyond nervous. And sad that my tenure here is coming to an end.

Gosh!

Workload has doubled coz I have to rush everything before leaving. Report after report.

Requisitions after requisitions. Queries after queries. Gimme a break people!

Wake me up when September ends..

Weekends was o...k...

BF's best friend's sister's wedding was a simple one.

Reached late. Ate. Hang around and left coz BF had to work.

I wish I wish he can stop working on weekends.

As days passes by, I feel like I feel for him more.

I hope this feeling is right.

I love you babey!

ps : if u ever find a proper pic of him, gv it to me!

Reunion with her...

2007-08-31T17:24:00.000+08:00

I'm finally meeting up with Eme after so long.

After the fight, I didn't even contact her til the day before she got married.

Anyways, let bygones be bygones!

Love her still.. Hope after getting married, she's a changed person. Heee!

Spending tomorrow with the BF to the Uncle's boutique. Deciding on the baju kurung for this coming Hari Raya.

Sunday? Love's best friend's sister's wedding @ 3pm. And he's working from 6-11pm after. Hate hate hate it when he has to work! Weekends burn just like dat! Pffft!

It's FRIDAY!! Enjoy your weekend people!! Thsi is gonna be the last entry for today. I promise!

Boss's Birthday

2007-08-31T10:11:00.000+08:00

The Purchasing girls made our boss's day today. It's her birthday on the 4th Sept 2007 and since she's going on leave next week, we got her the present today!

When my boss is happy, I'm happier.

Looking at the smile on my boss's face today make me not wanna leave. Many fellow colleagues mentioned that my boss really care for me(she told them herself ok! Which boss will do sucha thing?). She don't want me to leave but she is left with no choice. She respect my decision and she supports me thruout.

Sigh she's the one I'm gonna miss most from this department.

Gosh..

This is wat we got for her.

Sweet kan? She LOVED it.

Everchanging...

2007-08-31T08:30:00.000+08:00

I was browsing thru my pictures and I noticed that I've kinda change over the years.
Be it hairdo, weight-gain/weight-loss or watever. Lemme take you on a walk down memory lane...

2004

2005

2006

2007

And me now. After several concave tryouts, I'm contented with my hairdo now.

Thanks Uncle Awie.!

To a Friend/Foe?

2007-08-30T09:54:00.001+08:00

You and I know things can never be like how it used to be.

You and me have done so much damage in each other's lives.

You're someone I used to turn to whenever I'm feeling low.

You're the one who will stand by me thru my darkest hour.

Shall I call you a friend? A foe? I'm not sure.

But I do feel the loss as days passes by,

As 'the day' draws nearer and nearer.

I see you almost everyday for the past 2 years.

And now I know that I won't get to see you anymore.

Like you said, as I embark on my new journey, I'll forget you.

I won't. It won't be easy. Trust me. Just this once.

I want to extend my gratitude to you for being my friend.

A friend who stands by me thruout the turbulence I face in life.

Thank you.

As I take my leave soon, I wish to bury the hatchet and start anew.

But I just need you to respect me having someone in my life.

I don't want the past to repeat. I don't want to lose him now.

Again I wish to say THANK YOU for everything.

I forgive you. And I need you to forgive me too.

All the fond memories that we shared, shall remain in my mind forever.

Here's my favourite picture of you..

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You...

KnS Fashion Parade

2007-08-29T15:26:00.000+08:00

Kemy & Surin's Fashion Parade was held @ Singapore Art Museum Glass House last Saturday.

Show was a blast!!

Love the models. Love the aunt. Love the uncle. Love LeRoy(the he/she.. watever!) Love love L.O.V.E.

Hate the food. Hate the DJ in red. Hate the rain. HATE!

Nah. Me, Uncle Peyzal, Roi with the models..

Tummy Hasn't Been Good

2007-08-29T08:38:00.000+08:00

Was on MC yesterday. My tummy was protesting against me. She's misbehaving. Making me go to the toilet a little too often. It must be the sandwich that I ate on Monday morning. Tsk!

A friend sent me to the doc yesterday. The BF was quite furious when I told him that I wasn't going to the doc alone. It rained cats and dogs den. When the friend sent me home, I saw the BF at my void deck. He really scare the bejaysus out of me! I apologised profusely. Repeating, promising and swearing it won't happen again. It's the first time I saw him angry after knowing him for like 2 years? Sigh.

Still feeling unwell. Still seeing stars. Tummy still refuse to be good.
Double sigh!!

A New Beginning

2007-08-27T09:29:00.000+08:00

I can't explain how ecstatic I'm feeling right now. The interview is a success. I got an offer from the company, which is definitely far more better than my current company I'm working for.

Let's just say this is a new beginning for everything. A new career path. School's finishing soon. The BF has been great. Giving me endless smiles day by day. Each time I think of him, it tickles me. Well he's been getting along well with my family. Especially with Uncle Z and Mumsy. Let's just hope things will stay as it is til the end? I'd pray hard for that.

Counting down my days in FEP... This feeling in me, a mixture of reluctant-ness and anticipation and delight-ness. Sigh. Leaving a job I really love is really not easy ya. But then again... ORD mood lorr..

Love love..

Finally, a pass...

2007-08-16T09:36:00.000+08:00

Something for me to smile about. I passed my Accounting and my Human Resource. Really unexpected actually. It was all last minute study in fact.

Let's just hope the interview today will turn out fine.

All the more reason I will be so over the moon.

Plus the fact that Twotit will not be working today. Yay?!

Yeah YAY!!

Oh and Happy Birthday Awoon!

Utterly Disappointed

2007-08-15T15:56:00.000+08:00

I still can't bring myself to believe what you've done to me. I'm utterly disappointed in you. You can seek revenge on me, but never bring along my family members. Now everything seems to be out of hand. Family members don't speak to me, older brother's angry, work is haywire after I tender, and because I'm a little too vulnerable now, I lost Raul too.

Well let's just hope tomorrow will be better and hope that the interview will be a success. Pray for me, ppl who's still by me.

If I get the offer, I wanna start anew. I do hope I mean it this time round.

I'm LOST!

L.O.S.T.

I HATE YOU!!!!!!

2007-08-13T14:46:00.000+08:00

I have never came across someone as pathetic, low-life and a bastard like you.

You've caused me to have the ultimate hatred towards you.

I SWEAR UPON MYSELF THAT I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!

I CURSE YOU AND YOUR GENERATION. OR MAYBE, YOU WON'T HAVE YOUR OWN?
WAT A BIG TIME LOSER YOU ARE. FUCKING BIG TIME MOTHER FUCKER!

NOW THAT IT'S ALL OVER, I FINALLY HAVE A PEACE LIFE.

AND NOT TO WORRY WILSON FOO BOON THYE, I'M LEAVING FOR GOOD WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.

I'LL PERISH OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SIGHT.

I'LL SACRIFICE WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE FAR AWAY FROM YOU.

I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!

You can take back all the things, but you can never EVER gain back the friendship.

You're born a loser Wilson. Face it!

Singfest Saga. (The Aftershow)

2007-08-10T08:42:00.000+08:00

Singfest was a BLAST!! My buckeroos didn't go to waste. Singfest is LOVE!!

The acts were superb. The crowd was CRAYYZEE!

Avenged Sevenfold is my favourite among all the bands. The crowd went super crayzee(and that includes me!) when they performed. Let's just hope there'll be more music fests held in Singapore. Womad's around the corner and I might be going too.

Well here's proof of my entertainment for the last 2 days...

DAY 1

DAY 2

SINGFEST!!!

2007-08-08T16:40:00.000+08:00

Did I mention earlier that I'm going to Singfest?

Yeah today AND TOMORROW!!

My 2 brothers and my uncle are already on their way there while I am stuck here @ work..

I so can't wait to see SugarRay && Avenged Sevenfold && MXPX && Gym Class Heroes.

I bet tomorrow will be scorching hot. So!!... I don't need to go tanning ehk Raul? Confirm gelap.

Away

2007-08-08T09:07:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating. I'm seriously frustrated that my lappie is still not ok yet.
*tsk*
Not free to blog at work too.
DAMN!

Saturday to M.O.S for bro's burfdae celebration.

Jaded

2007-08-02T10:28:00.000+08:00

If you got too much to complain abt, take your leave by all means.

I'm effing sick and tired of all these.

I never knew your ego is bigger then your head!

Enough said. I'm damn fucking FURIOUS!!

He made this for me...

2007-08-01T11:52:00.000+08:00

'HE MADE THIS FOR ME'

I shall not say further. You know who you are.

Thank You!

Busy with life.

Will update soon.. I hope..

Tomatoes?

2007-07-27T10:07:00.000+08:00

I actually eat tomatoes. BUT! Only in tuna sandwiches. Weee!

Tmr's Aunt's big day. Well I can't wait to get all dressed up and all. Anticipating tomorrow. Hrmmmm...

Mother's not attending the wedding. Grandma's upset + angry + paranoid and start assuming and wat nots. Sigh. Thoughtless. It just irritates me that I always have to speak for her and cover her karcheng almost 90% of the time. Grrrr!

&& TGIF! Will be heading to town with Rachael & Raul.(eh! nice combi! pfft~)

I just love Fridays.

And the only thing to spoil my mood today is me having to shred the confidential documents. It's really tedious work hokay. Try shredding for more than an hour and you'll feel like shredding yourself.

Agitation

2007-07-25T09:58:00.000+08:00

Bear with me for this long entry...

The upheavel is driving me to insanity. Isn't it ironic that it's her who makes the decision, and now she is the one who is forever complaining and giving us the cold shoulders for her own determined decision. I bet she foresees this coming. So why go ahead with it huh? Since, the atmosphere here is not the same anymore. Every little mistake made will made be a big hoo-haa. What's up with that huh? Tell me she's facing mid-life crisis so as to coax myself. Please! I've had enough.

Grandpa's upset and disappointed in me. I've forsaken him in ways that I can't comprehend. Thinking that the minimal time I spent at home is adequate to make him feel loved but I was wrong. His words are really biting and is still lingering in my head. "You never appreciate what is given and value time. You've lost your navigator and sunk in the world of hypocrisy. You'll dine with laughter together in a castle of hypocrites but left marooned a hamlet in the dungeon of tears." OUCH! I guess I'm overdoing things. I need to manage my time for family and friends. I'm too high on life that I'm actually hurting my guardians. It's about time I dust myself and start afresh in everything.

I shall cut down on late nights. Not put a stop but I'll keep that minimal. I hope.. School has been rescheduled, so I have classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. No more weekend classes. I dont' know whether I should sigh or feel relieved. I'm feeling numb towards almost everything right now.

Saturday's Aunt Sherry's wedding. I have yet to buy stilettos for myself. Appointment for my hair-do has been confirmed. Then to collect GA'a dress to bring to the hotel. Then to make-up the girls. I'm afraid by then I'll be all sweaty and my hair will be in a mess. Luckily, I guess the hair-stylist will be there with Imran Adjmain. So as and when, he can touch up my hair for me. Omg I guess I'm taking too much time to blog.

I need a break. I need to go for a short get-away. Raul?

It's Been Awhile

2007-07-24T10:01:00.000+08:00

Miss me? Well I'm super busy to blog. For those who can't wait.. Well apparently you have to. Nyet!

"Because of You"

2007-07-20T15:16:00.000+08:00

Want to but I can't help it
I love the way it feels
It's got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it
I want it when I don't
Tell myself I'd stop everyday, knowing that I won't

I've got a problem and I (don't know what to do about it)
Even if I did I don't know if i would quit
But I doubt and I'm
Taken by the thought of it
And I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction
I'm so strung out on you
I can barely move...but I like it

And it's all because of you (all because of you)
So, and it's all because of you (all because of you)
And it's all because of you (all because of you)
So, and it's all because...

Never get enough
She's the sweetest drug

Think of it every second
I can't get nothing done
Only concern is the next time,
I'm Gon' get me some
Know I should stay away from 'cause it's no good for me
I try and and try but my obsession, won't let me leave

Ain't no doubt
So strung out
Ain't no doubt
So strung out

Revamp of Office causes body aches!!

2007-07-20T09:46:00.000+08:00

I've been super busy lately with shifting of office and transfer of storeroom @ work. I don't have much time to blog. Plus the fact that my laptop went kaput, I don't have the source to blog @ home either! Pfffftt! All thanks to the bro who uses my laptop like all day long, the lappie died soon after.

Due to my super busy schedule @ work and home. I'm missing a whole lot of people. My mood haven't been good. Endless quarrels with Raul. Cranky with Granddaddy. Grumpy @ work. Get agitated easily with Weed. Being mean to Twotit. What the f@*& is wrong with me? Perhaps I'm just confused. In a dilemma. To the people who was affected by my mean, thoughless, tactless means, I sincerely apologise. Especially to Raul. I am really2 sorry babey..

Outworn

2007-07-11T17:10:00.000+08:00

Exams really outwear me. Deprived of sleep. Miss the peeps. Pimple breakouts.

Aunt Sherry's leaving for Canada tonight. Should I or should I not send her? I so need to revise my HRM. Tsk!

I suddenly feel like going to the zoo. And a massage this weekend.

I'll update you on what's going on in life later on when I have the time.

As for now.. I'M DRAINED OF ENERGY!

W910i

2007-07-05T11:56:00.000+08:00

I am so in love with this phone. It's not out yet so the moment it's launched, I requested for Sony Ericsson to e-mail me. Ya ya kiasu me but heck! I love it..
It's slim. Sleek. Suave. Gorgeous. Pretty. Sexy. Just like me. Heh..

Exam Fever

2007-07-04T17:44:00.001+08:00

Exams are around the corner. I'm nervous. Gosh!

&& Raul was @ Forever 21 and he saw the white skirt that I loike. && he bought it for me.

Suweeet. I wonder whether I can fit my huge ass into a size S skirt.

Us @ MOS. *i know Raul HATES this pic but I loike.*

Wisdom Tooth Trauma

2007-07-03T12:36:00.000+08:00

The other wisdom tooth is growing and it's PAINFUL okay.

Gosh the last time I extract one of it, I had someone to take care of me 24/7. My endless whinings. Non-stop cryings. Sleepless nights. But now?! Hurhurhur.. I'm so gonna cry coz this time I need to undergo minor surgery compared to the normal extraction. *gulp*. F.y.i eh, I'm suffering but still I eat lotsa junk food. So padan muker ako.

*wails* BooHoo!!

Anyone wants to accompany me for the minor surgery?

Autobots

2007-07-02T11:10:00.000+08:00

3 cheers for Transformers!You people sooo need to watch it. It's far more better den Fantastic 4.Rated Movie of the year. Gosh I wanna watch it again and again and again... Optimus Prime is like the robot kinda hot. My super hero... Sigh..I think i sound so psychotic being in love with robots. Autobots.

Went to JB with the family last Saturday. Collected the dress and the 2 tops I've tailor-made there. It turned out to be super nice but a lil too tight. Tsk. Telling me I've gained weight over a month. Shopped a bit. Bought lotsa food. Pigged out too. Haha where do you think all these extra fats came from? Junk food + OVEREATING!

Head to Vivo yesterday to watch Transformers with Shilly, Bitsy, Granny, Busu and brother. Met up with Uncle Paul and Aunty Lisa with the boys after the show. Shopped a bit. Bought tops from Forever 21 and River Island. Bought flip-flops from Rip Curl too. Granny bought sandals from Crocs. So does Shilly. She bought this green rubber thingy which looks good on her small cacat feet. Nyehehehe!

So I spend my precious weekends with the family. Aww I'm so demure. I love me. I love Family! Now I'm thinking where is my ProjectShop flip-flops.
will upload pics when I'm home coz im blogging from office. Mean mean Liyana.

Oh did I mention I bumped into H with his club 'friend'? She's fugly and I'm hot. She can't dance. She's all over him. Ppl club to have fun. She clubs to stick to him like glue. So buzz off H. You have bad taste!

*dancing.. gelek-gelek*
Touch me baby. Drive me crazy..

Last Min Party

2007-06-28T13:50:00.000+08:00

You guys made me day. No u guys make my whole week sia! Seriously it was like one of the best time I've ever had.

I love you Raul! I love Blackie Bitch too..

We'll go again next week for Hadi's birthday.

I'll update again for details + pics.

Moving on..

2007-06-27T10:16:00.000+08:00

Well it seems like I'm getting a grip of myself. For the past few days, I've been sleeping early and sleeping well. Eating a wee bit too much. And have been bubbly and chirpy since.

I love myself now despite the fact that my Debbie is bigger den my Sandie. Really disturbing. Tsk!

I miss Hadi. And Raul. And Tabi. And Black. And!!... Him..

K bye!

The Loneliness

2007-06-26T09:07:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting here
Thinkin' 'bout
How I'm gonna do without
You around
In my life
And how am I, I gona' get by
Ain't got no days
Just lonely nights
If you want the truth
Well boy, I'm not alright
Feel out of place
And out of time
I think I'm gonna lose my mind

So tell me how you feel
Are you for real
Do you still think of me
Baby still
Do you dream of me at night (like I dream you all the time)
So lone..
Oh, let me tell you how it feels (it's like everyday I die)
Wish I was dreamin but it's real (when I open up my eyes)
Oh, let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)
I think that I will never love again

I miss your face
I miss your kiss
I even miss, the arguments
That we would have
From time to time
I miss you standing by my side
I'm dying here
It's clear to see
There ain't no you, God knows there ain't no me
Don't wanna live
I wanna die
If I can't have you in my life

So tell me how you feel
Are you for real
Do you still think of me (I think of you)
Baby still (you only)
Do you dream of me at night (it's like I dream you all the time)
So lone
Oh, let me tell you how it feels (it's like everyday I die)
Wish I was dreamin but it's real (when I open up my eyes)
Oh, let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)
I think that I will never love again (will never, I will never love again)

Agitation

2007-06-21T20:33:00.000+08:00

Life has been pretty hectic and is a complete fiasco for the past few weeks. Pretty afflicted by him. Lucky enough for me, friends have been there for me. My pillars. My shoulder to cry on. A helping hand. Brother+sisterly. Though I know I've put them in a difficult position sometimes, I am contented that they're there for me when I need them. Friends from the past emerge. They're LOVE!

Well I have to penetrate into my brain that people tend to walk in and out of my life. As for now, he's gone. Gone for good i guess. I know he'd made the decision out of anger but i reckon he meant it. Sigh. I know and I know for sure, I could have loved him better. Isn't it an irony that it was him who was all after me, and now it's me who's hopelessly devoted to him? *tsk*

Pathetic me shall I call it. I wanna go for a holiday. Soon please! Hadi? Shayirul? Anyone?

Well let me Google and see where I shall head to.

On another note, AA's getting hitched soon and I have yet to collect my dress I've tailor-made in JB. It's suppose to be collected this mid month but now is like the 21st already. Gonna follow her for dress-fitting this Monday @ Bugis.

Well I'm kinda layzee to blog further. Feeling all agitate-ey.

I love my peeps and my bitches.!

Pain

2007-06-16T19:15:00.000+08:00

Take this pain away from me... Please..

On Bended Knees

2007-06-13T20:48:00.000+08:00

This is fer you Haikal.. I wonder whether you'll ever read this.
But let's just hope you do...

Darlin' I can't explain
Where did we lose our way
Boy it's drivin' me insane
And I know I just need one more chance
To prove my love to you
If you come back to me
I'll guarantee
That I'll never let you go

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

So many nights I dream of you
Holding my pillow tight
I know I don't need to be alone
When I open up my eyes
To face reality
Every moment without you
It seems like eternity
I'm begging you, begging you come back to me

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

Gonna swallow my pride
Say I'm sorry
Stop pointing fingers the blame is on me
I want a new life
And I want it with you
If you feel the same
Don't ever let it go
You gotta believe in the spirit of love
It can heal all things
We won't hurt any more
No I don't believe our love's terminal
I'm down on my knees begging you please
Come back

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

New Hairdo.. again!

2007-06-08T10:37:00.000+08:00

I did something to my hair last night. The outcome is not how I expect it to be but still, its ok. Went with my lil Bitsy and she's like really2 irritating thru out. She has the same hair-do with me except hers is shorter. We're so like sisters. And sometimes it can be really memalukan if I were to walk with her. I love her still.

I'm now blogging and uploading my boss's songs into her iPod, as if I don't have anything to do at work. Tsk. It's Friday and I don't wanna get all tensed up. Going for my full body waxing tonight and maybe, to the indoor tan tomorrow. I kinda feel all recharged and hyper today (besides having an upset stomach since morning). I wonder why.. Hrmm...

Class 95 is playing nice songs today too. && I wonder what happened to Flying Dutchman and Glenn Ong. Have not heard them on air for almost 2 weeks. Lemme ask Aunt Sherry..

Boss is going to US this Sunday and I'm still contemplating what should I kirim from her. Maybe more Bath & Bodyworks lotions and hand-gels!

Ok gtg meet the Boss..
what's up with me and the boss this entry? *yawns*

Vesak Day

2007-06-01T09:37:00.000+08:00

I just find it irritating when holidays doesn't fall on Fridays. It means no long weekends. I dragged myself to work this morning. I'm feeling lethargic. Came to work with my hair undone. No make up on. I'm like a walking ghoul. Tsk!

Spend my precious 1 day holiday at home DVD marathon-ing, sleeping & pigging out before Grandma ask me out to Causeway coz she needs to shop.
So as you ppl can see, I get the genes from grandma. She's an expensive woman. She loves shopping. She loves perfume. We buy the same facial product. She loves the Body Shop. Grandma is just love!.. I chose for her a nice hot pink top from Anglia which goes well with her skin tone. It's like super sweet + super gorgeous on Granny. && I bought 2 nice Sloggi knickers with bling-bling(*winks*) and CK Tank Top for the brother. =D

Ok.. Back to my DVD marathon. I watched Underworld, X-Men The Last Stand and Qabil Qushry Qabil Igam. The qabil movie is like super crappy in the beginning, and super sad + touching the later part. My bad that I bet with the younger brother that IF I cry at any point of time, I have to buy him the Champagne Gold PSP. And I actually cried!! Damn him!

I hate today! I hate everyday! Time is crawling. I'm super cranky. I'm feeling super lazy. And what's up with me and all the 'supers'?! Super irritating!

June

2007-05-30T14:00:00.000+08:00

It marks the end of May. See how time flies. It's already mid-year. Sigh.

GSS is here and I'm so gonna sh0p til i dr0p.

My To-Do List for the month of June:-

Full Body Waxing.
Soft Straighten Hair @ Kimage.
Indoor Tan @ Fabulous Tan.
To get my COACH purse. OR!! LV Monogram Vernis purse or the Epi Leather Collection purse.
Guess/Oakley over-sized shades.
Lots and lots of new clothes.
Pumps

The list can go on and on and on and on... These are the important ones. See my face. It's beaming. Hohoho!! Shopping is LOVE!

Bitsy! When's out hair date?! Pfffft!

Had A Bad Day...

2007-05-29T08:42:00.000+08:00

I just hope today will be a better day for me.

Contemplating what I should do next.

The feeling of REGRET and EMPTINESS is shitty.

Dreamt of the mother. I miss her. SO much...

Did I make the right decision? Should I start anew?

Should I leave my past and just move on a new journey?

When You're Gone

2007-05-25T14:17:00.000+08:00

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me
through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you,
I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

We were made for each other
Out here foreverI know we were
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me

*Avril Lavigne*

Latest Addiction

2007-05-24T08:57:00.000+08:00

Marks & Spencer's Viennese Swirls are l.o.v.e! I can pig out the whole packet all by myself!

&& I'm craving fer Ben & Jerry's.

Any0ne?

GA! Have been emailing u but have not gotten any reply since. ???

My New Esprit Watch

2007-05-22T13:22:00.000+08:00

Weekend passed in a blur. Hrmmm..

Lemme try to recall wat I did over the weekend.

School as per normal on Saturday. Den to meet An after school. He planned to get himself the Singapore Haunting cd or something, but I ended up getting myself a pair of pants from Iora. Was eyeing on that for quite sometime but was contemplating whether I should get it. So when Iora caught my eye, I head straight in to have a last look before I decide. Plus! It was on sale. Tried it. Bought it! Heeee.. Head to Taka after to get myself some tops for work. Made use of my vouchers I got for being part of the D'n'D committee and yay! I got myself this nice black and white retro-ish top(which An chose for me) and a white sleeveless, which was just.. alright~. Had a tiff with him then! Over something real s.t.u.p.i.d. I wanted to eat the Ria Ayam Penyet so badly but I just can't understand why he was so reluctant. I got really² pissed off and I just refuse to speak to him. Urgh! Intend to get for Ari his birthday gift but due to some unforeseen circumstances, I didn't. On top of that, I stood Frooad and the rest up. What a biatch I can be sometimes.
Frooad.. Ari.. I'm sorry! A thousand apologies is all I can offer.. *sobs* (erk.. did I just did some kinda public apology?..pffft. So Ari! U gotta forgive me.. =D)

Den comes Sunday(the day when I always eat a little too much). Family day! Dragged the grandparents out to Causeway. Had waffles at Gelare. Service = sucks!

Food = SUCKS X23468731324!! I got myself lots and lots of stuff. The ultimate satisfaction of the day.. -The Esprit watch- Grandaddy got me a nice Esprit Dress Watch. Its nice hokay! I loike!!! Weeeee~!!!

And on top of that, I bought truckloads of nonsense from The Body Shop. I really mean TRUCKLOADS! eeerkk... It cost Grandaddy almost 300 bucks! Wooops.. Last but not least, I got myself new Sloggi matching undies and bra! Cantek.. cantek.. *nods*

Ok! I'm taking up time from work to blog and it feels so wrong! I love my Grandaddy+Grandmummy+Lame Uncle+Brother!!

Charged Up

2007-05-18T16:08:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling cheeky + happy + all charged up.

1) They're playing nice/my fav songs on Class 95.
2) Weed is back. I should be angry but at the sight of him, I can see myself grinning from ear to ear. =D
3) TGIF!!! nyehehehe.. *gelek²*

toodle-doo!

School Reopens

2007-05-15T17:39:00.000+08:00

School resumes tomorrow! Aaaargh!

I'll be so unavailable on Saturdays. Benci!

Anyways Aunt D from NY already bought me the Hand Gel from Bath & Bodyworks alreadyy!!
And she bought 4 bottles of it! Yay!! Thankies Aunt D.

My Weekend

2007-05-14T09:20:00.000+08:00

Work is driving me nuts! No bosses today so I take this chance to update. Lappie has been left behind at Daddy's. Pffft!

Busy weekend. Super tight schedule. Bliss.. Still..

Friday.
Head to Funan for some hair thingy. My actual plan was to meet up with Naz for some drinks at Boat Quay. BUT! She has to work til late so I decided to wander on my own. BUT then again I thought of Mira and An. And so I did. Mira's boy is super adorable and naughty. Love! An was the suweetest on that night. Alahai~

Saturday.
JOHOR!!! Planned this trip with the family weeks ago. Bought kain for Aunt's wedding. We decided on blue. Turqoise-blue-ish colour. Ok. I still have truckloads of stuffs to buy and do for her wedding.

Tailor-make Baju for wedding dinner - Done!
Plan hair-do with girls
Nine West Shoes
Clutch Bag
Wedding Gift

On top of that, I bought kain to make blouse too. Plan to wear them for upcoming weddings a.k.a jemputan. I just so hate to wear Kurungs coz judging by the weather.. Kurungs are NO NO! Time flies real fast when ure having so much fun. Girls were great. Grandmummies were such cuties. Aunt's kinda cranky though. I love them to bits!

Frooad, I'm glad I told you everything. I'm contented to have you around. Wat more can I ask for? I appreciate your time and relentless effort to make me smile. To make me feel appreciated. To make me whole again. To know where I stand in your life is just... Captivating..

Wilson, THANK YOU! Even though you can be a pain in the ass at times, you're the best! Your effort doesn't go to waste. Having you around is all I need to make my world a better place. You're the first man in my life to dote on me. To shower me with endless love. Thank you...

Now I know I'm appreciated. I'm loved. But I still want her back. I want her to wake up. I want her to appreciate me. I miss her.

Will update more pics once its uploaded.

Signing off..

Blogger go wrong...

2007-05-10T22:30:00.000+08:00

What's wrong with the blogger?
The settings is haywire!
And I so don't have the mood to blog. Damn it!

Driven Emotions

2007-04-30T09:18:00.000+08:00

And I drove myself safely home. It was such an insane and trembling experience. My skills are kinda beyond expectations.

I miss... The greatest love of all.

BUT! He has to wait.

PMS is driving my emotions to the extreme. I start reminiscing the past. I start missing ppl. Mother. Fibi. R.H. W when he's not around me. Damn it!

Cramps and aches are no good!

Bluergh!

*Tsk*

Tired!

2007-04-24T22:46:00.000+08:00

Sleepless nights.
Tired.
Cranky.
Grumpy.
Exams.
Lethargic.
Sucks!